Today’s publication announcement isn’t my usual crime fiction-related post. I wrote an essay about growing up biracial in conservative Orange County, California in the 70s and 80s. The Hapa Mag accepted it and it’s in Issue 10 which is out today!
It’s my first attempt at writing about how ashamed I was of my Chinese background. I wish I could go back in time and change how I thought of my dad and our heritage but I can’t. I wish I could have embraced my Chinese culture but I didn’t.
But I’m grateful that I am finally able to celebrate it. I want to learn about my Chinese roots as much as I can, while I can. My dad and I have become much closer over the years and I’m extremely blessed that our relationship has strengthened and grown.
I don’t think the person’s been born that can’t look back at how they behaved or reacted towards parents and family without feeling some pangs of regret. I know I do and with my dad long gone there’s nothing I can do to correct things. I hope you don’t beat yourself up about it. How you act going forward is more important.
I just saw this comment now! Thank you, Colman. I really appreciate your comment and you’re right. I can’t change the past. What’s done is done. What matters is what I do now. 🙂